Anxious Mama

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Every parent has a degree of anxiety about their children and I am no different. It begins when they are in your tummy, then they are born, then they start to move, school, teenage years and I’m sure right into adult hood. This is all normal. You care unconditionally about your child/children so it is excepted for you to feel a little anxious about their well being. 

However I live and have lived with daily anxiety since my teens. When I discovered I was to become a mum I was nervous it would rare its head again but I was pleasantly surprised when my usual symptoms subsided-all those good pregnancy hormones did their job!

I stayed on low levels of medication throughout my pregnancies and feeding as recommended by the doctor and I knew this was right for me too.

On both babies those first few months I felt fine, completely sleep deprived but very contended and calm. It was around the 3/4 month mark on both I started to struggle. I’d feel familiar panicky symptoms, I’d overthink things and get completely overwhelmed. 

The more the years go on, the more I recognise these days/hours/periods of time but as a first time mum that was doing semi ok I decided to take action and went to speak with someone which I have written about previously. I met a fantastic councillor through Nurture who I will always refer back to when I need to check in on life. I returned to her for just a couple of sessions after I miscarried in between having the boys and it helped me immensely to take stock of my thoughts and  feelings. 

With my second child, the sleep deprivation was hightened. If I thought I was tired before this was on another level as all the reserves are gone. With the reserves gone, managing the feelings of anxiety that can come flooding in became a little less manageable at times but somehow I just muddled through. I put new strategies in place now that life was busier and on most days I come out the other side.

It is something I live with daily and I worry my eldest in recent months he picked up on some of my behaviours and will perhaps adopt some of my bad traits but despite him being almost 4 we talk to him like a human and that seems to help. 

A lot of the above mums are dealing with during periods in parenthood but unfortunately my head makes me work every day to be calm, be happy and be ok with just being ok. Even writing this post is hard because I know how lucky I am, I project a life of happiness because I am happy but the daily reality is with this I struggle, I’m learning and evolving with this almost 20 years later but I felt this week it was important to highlight the realities and be ok to put it into the public domain too. 

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The real guide to being a mum of two 

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We are 11 months now being a family of four and here are some of the things I’ve learnt along the way. Let’s just get one thing straight no one has an easy time of it.. 1 child, 2 children, 10 children but on the more mental days you just gotta roll with it and find the funny side of the madness!

My boys have a 3 year gap so you are condending with different needs which is sometimes great, sometimes hard and sometimes quite hilarious! We are lucky and I know that every single day but here are some of my observations….

NAPS-If the stars align and when my eldest used to take a nap and they would actually nap at the same time it was the stuff of small miracles.

POOP-With 2, one toilet trained but one in nappies you seem to wipe A LOT of bums, it definitely takes up a considerable portion of my day! 

SLEEP-A bit like the naps above, you just hope that once you’ve re settled one at night the other doesn’t wake-we have 2 not so great sleepers so any sleep is precious in our house. 

NOISE-Quiet moments are seldom and certainly more a thing of the past. Busy boys makes for a busy house. 

FUN-It’s busy, tiring and loud but my goodness it is definitely double fun. Seeing them interact as siblings is mesmerising. Already there is a little bond formed and that is just gorgeous to see.

PLAN-If you thought you were busy with one, two brings it to a whole new level so where you can plan, do, if it makes it all a little easier then it’s worth it. From clothes, to meals to activities-a lot of planning goes on in our house!

LOVE-It might be double the fun but it’s quadruple if not more on the love stakes. Having another boy to see grow before our eyes, the love between them as brothers, the pride in their Dad’s eyes-makes all the good, bad and the complete madness of it all completely worthwhile. 

Coffees with Kids ☕️

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I became a coffee addict when my second son was born… I also probably bored you all with images of coffees throughout my mat leave on instagram too! 


I went in search weekly for a good cup of coffee that would keep me going on tireder days but there were other factors I considered when coming up with my list below… 

SPACE-this isn’t a deal breaker for me based on another factor below but it definitely helps if there is space for the 2 boys, a buggy and the usual bag or two of ‘bits’

COFFEE-it can have all the space in the world but a lot of the ‘chains’ have space but awful coffee. 

FRIENDLINESS-for me when I potentially walk in with a buggy and another child in tow, even to a small establishment being instantly put at ease is a win for me. 

CHANGING FACILITIES-this can be a bit of an ask on some of the smaller independent coffee spots and it’s certainly not a deal breaker but it’s definitely an added bonus.

So with all the above in mind and not wanting to be subjected to bland/crap tasting coffee just because I’m a mummy and not a 20 something hipster here are a few of our fav spots….Oh and a good babychino for the toddler helps too 😂

Two Pups, Francis St-Fab coffee and cakes, a tiny little place but instantly given a warm welcome when I arrived in with two in tow!

Network, Aungier St-A very cool little spot with great coffee and drool worthy sambos, despite its size again you are put at ease with friendly staff.

Two Boys Brew, Phibsbourgh-This was a bit of a trek for us but visited on a day out and it was well worth it, a lovely space, great coffee and really helpful staff.

Fia, Rathgar Road-A divine little spot that I almost like to keep for solo visits and a blissful brunch but couldn’t be nicer when you visit with baby in tow.

Foam, Terenure-A move away from the usual 3fe coffee here but still a delicious cuppa and on a busy morning we were welcomed and accommodated for a quick cup of coffee which was greatly welcomed.

Foodgame, Ringsend-Another spot that’s small and welcoming and their brownies and mars bar krispies are the best around so this is definitely the place to come for a sugar hit with delicious Ariosa coffee too.

Pot Bellied Pig, Rathmines-A very chic little spot but they didn’t stop the guy reading my mind and bringing me a freshly baked brownie with a large cappuccino on a day it was badly needed so this place had to make the list!

Mayfield, Terenure-A local spot with a very inclusive feel, they are used to customers with kids and you feel that when you walk in. A scone and a milky coffee here will set you up for the day!

Square One, Sandyford-I found this spot as it’s right behind my nearest Aldi and I’m so glad a I did, I soon became a regular. The space is great, big and bright. Handy changing facilities and really good coffee that comes in 2 sizes-large for me most days! The staff are really friendly too which makes it a winner all round.

3 of the chain type coffee spots that are by ‘go to’

Marks & Spencer-this is usually a convenience factor but I’m not going to like their Almond Crossaints and a Flat White is hard to beat! 

Cafe Nero-of the chain coffee shops I probably find this the best one, the coffee is the best of a bad lot and pastries always look appetising. It feels like a comfier, cleaner space than most. 

Butlers Cafe-I genuinely like their coffee, it’s on the stronger side and who can resist the free chocolate too. 

I hope some of these make your list for the week ahead as I know a cofeee or two is what gets me through… Happy Monday! 

Picture Perfect

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We now live in a world where most share their lives either a little or a lot through all or some of the social media channels. I’m definitely the latter. I’m not going to make the excuse it’s because of the blog, a little of it definitely is and some of it is conscious sharing of things that relate to the blog but mostly it is because I’m just an oversharer.

With that brings a snapshot of your life, a daily snippet of what has been going on in your world. I generally tend to choose to share positive aspects but in no way does that mean behind the scenes things are ‘picture perfect’. 

Life is busy, tiring and at times pretty stressful but by sharing the snippets of joy I find, if I’ve had a tricky week it’s good to look back and remember the joyful moments too. I hope that my blog is balanced and honest but I also believe that a positive parenting outlook makes things ‘seem’ a little easier, some days.

The reality behind the pictures is our toddler is still a regular night waker, our 10 month old the same, just a little more regular. We juggle work, childcare and life like everyone else. Some days it all feels too much, other days it feels manageable… We do it all with little family support, our unit is small and we are thankful for what we do have but our only grandparent works full time so when extra hands are needed for sickness or other eventualities it’s not always there. We muddle on, we are in the trenches much like every other parent out there. 

The rose tinted glasses fall off with a persistent regularity but then when they are in bed, the house is actually clean, you have a cuppa {or wine} in hand.. the next day seems doable… I look back on my snapshot of the day and feel so thankful, so lucky and I stumble into bed and do it all again.

Prepping for the end of Mat Leave with a Max

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My second maternity leave it just about to come to an end and I sure am going to miss my little buddy when I go back but there are bills to be paid and the bubble of the more blissful days of mat leave are definitely due to burst.

On my first maternity leave I was returning to the workforce after working for myself for 4 years, to a familiar office {I had worked for this company previously} but to a new job so that was a big adjustment in itself. This time I am returning to my part time role that I had started just before I got pregnant with Max. Max is starting in the same creche as Josh so there is some comfort in that too. It’s not so much the going back to work but the fact that such a special time is ending that is hard. 

I know from last time that the adjustment is not an easy one and life, if that is possible is about to become even busier so here are some of my tips/ideas that I am also going to implement to make it a little bit smoother:

{Batch Cook}-Just like before Max was born I plan on having a freezer full of go to meals/prepared nutritious dinners to make coming home from work but continuing to eat a lot easier.

{Online Shopping}-I do this sporadically now but plan on making this a regular weekly thing, getting it delivered and also ordering all my healthy meat options online too.

{Help around the House}-I am verging on OCD house proud and a clean/tidy house keeps me calm so I’ll be increasing my fornighly cleaner to weekly and that for me gives me a bit of sanity, it’s not for everyone but it’s definitely a treat I can justify. Also sharing the load of the other ‘jobs’ with my other half, which to be fair he is pretty good at and keeping things ticking over will be key to keeping us all calm!

{Planning}-Having the boys clothes ready, shirts and uniform ready on a Sunday makes mornings a little less rushed. Then also having nice plans made for the weekend will make the working week feel worthwhile. 

{Knowing there are going to be bad days}-All the above will help but there will be inevitable sickness {in the throws of it as we speak}, guaranteed tiredness and most certainly crankiness. So just remember the saying when these occur… this to will pass, it will and I’ll probably need to remind myself of that fact several times in early September.

{Enjoy it}-Use your bus journey to listen to a podcast, your lunch break to have a tasty peace filled lunch and any breaks you may have for a chance to get ‘life admin’ done with no interruption and with a hot cup of cofffee. That can’t be a bad thing so enjoy your little things about the changes. 

Oh and most importantly someone send the wine and lots of it… 😉

A week of firsts…. 💙💙

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I got that Friday feeling big time this week… It’s been a week of lots of firsts and I’m both exhausted and elated. 

Just over a week ago Max’s 2 bottom teeth popped through, finally!!! We had a few weeks before that of horrendous sleep so the two new spikey additions were welcomed.

Next up was crawling, also would have played its part is the dreadful sleep… My husband had always thought he would start before crèche and I really hoped he would. Sure as can be after weeks of his own little manuvoures he got up on his knees but his little hand forward and he was flying it-delighted with himself! It was a lovely moment and cheered up a dreary Tuesday morning.

The very next day was the start of settle in week in creche. I felt all the emotions, it didn’t matter that this was my second time round I was equally upset. I put on his little outfit, took the obligatory pic and off we went. It didn’t go so well, the minute I stepped out of the room he completely lost it. More than anything is surprised me cause he’s such a sociable little chap but he is also a mamas boy and pretty clued in so I reckon he picked up on the vibes and was testing the water. The next day went a whole lot better and that was such a relief. Today was a mixed bag but with a cold picked up from his dada and a few other reasons I can pin point I am hoping on his return next week we might have a smoother run… 

In the midst of all this I can see my older boy getting so independent and grown up so I am a bag of emotions at the moment but I also want to burst with pride. I need cake, coffee and wine to assist with all these changes and I’ve been allowing myself plenty these last few days. Now work looms and I think I’m ‘kinda’ ready! 😬