A few weeks ago I was addicted to Masterchef, I’m a foodie so it’s one of my favourite shows. This year was a great year and at the final stood Billy, Jack and Jane.
One of the final tasks was to cook for some of the top Michelin starred chefs in the UK. At the end of the task each were asked what they did when they weren’t cooking. It was Jane’s answer that struck a cord with me.
‘I am a mum’ she said with pride…not I am ‘just’ a mum. She was a mum to four with no further explanation.
We live is a society that so many feel that being a mum is not quite enough, you often hear ‘I am just a mum’ or ‘I am a mum but I am on the parent committee, do charity work… etc etc’ Some feel they need justification for choosing to stay at home with thier children. Being a mum is one of the toughest jobs out there, rewarding and lovely but hard at times too so in my opinion no justification is needed.
Some also choose not to be a full time mum for personal or financial reasons and that is ok too, again you can hear this come with a myriad of excuses they feel they need to give. Lots of mothers decide to choose to go back to work to pay the mortgage, to secure their families future, for financial independence or sometimes for sanity and all these reasons are perfectly valid. Or sometimes you can love your job and worked hard to get there so want to continue to succeed in your chosen career.
I stayed at home with Josh for 14 months, we are probably still financially paying the price but I am glad I did. I then went back to work 4 days a week but decided quite early on that this was not the set up that worked for our family. I now work a job share and this for me is the perfect balance. I adore Josh and love my days with him as I’m sure I will with the next one too but I admittedly would not want to be at home with them full time. It gives the whole family balance, structure and of course extra income. Josh has thrived in Creche and we have been exceptionally lucky with our choice and he is only in 3 days which again works well for us.
But that is just it, these are our choices and these may not work for others and we are sacrificing some things that others can not or choose not to. You will always feel guilty once you become a mother/parent so the best thing you can do is make the right decision for your family at that given time, review it perhaps as you move through life stages but most importantly be ok with your choice and once you are never feel it needs justification. Being a mum is the most special job in the world and that title alone is something to be immensely proud of.