How is it that the people you love the most see the worst side of you. Apologies for the tinge of ‘whiney’ posts on here lately but a bit of reality and reflection has been going on in my world and I have always used this blog as a diary in some regard and will continue to do so with honesty too.
It was just recently, one of those weekday evenings when it all started to unravel-picked the kids up from crèche-both in crappy/tired form, got home later than planned due to traffic, no apples when Josh wanted one-cue tantrum, Max’s teeth were at him…the water was cold for baths for some reason, dinner still needed to be made and I realised we hadn’t one of the main ingredients. Then Ian was later home than usual-the boys had snacks at this stage (whatever I could find), they had tepid baths and were in their jammies but I was still not out of my uniform and had made no in roads to dinner. The minute he walked in the door-I was grumpy and frazzled, a state my husband sees me way too frequently these days.
The days I am with the boys they mostly get the best of me, we have fun, laughs, cuddles & go on adventures together but they are 2 energetic boys so 11 hours later I am usually tired so make up is off, cosies are on and my mind is elsewhere-onto the jobs I didn’t manage to get done when Ian walks through the door and I usually just want 5 minutes down time before the bedtime routine begins. Having said that, the boys can see an awful frazzled side of me when I snap unnecessarily and they look at me with confused faces! #mummyfail Please tell me I’m not the only one, I’m fairly sure I’m not!
On the days I am working, I’m not sure anyone sees my best side but even that journey home with the boys is pleasant more often than not-we sing, we play eye spy and catch up on the day.
This is a cycle most people are in whether working full time in the home our out of the home-the only difference being in my world it is split in 2. It does show me however there is no perfect way, no perfect balance for all but you make the choices that are right for you and your family and ultimately our option is best for us right now.
What we do try and do to compensate is date night once a month-a few hours out of the house just the 2 of us can re do all the snappiness, cross words and lack of proper conversation and attention to our own relationship. It is essential and having a grandparent, albeit just the one there to give a bit of ‘time out’ when required is a super support. For the boys, especially the older one I always give some sort of explanation if I’ve been unjustifiably crabby-it makes him understand it’s not his fault or worry in any way and it seems to do the trick. Not to go too deep but keep it light and to the point.
And don’t get me wrong it works both ways-I aint seeing the best side of my husband either-its knowing this and working on it that matters-knowing that we are the foundations of our family and once in a while to actually put ‘us’ first! Its lucky for all the love I say, with a good dose of understanding too…