Max is 2 this day next week. Well that was a whirlwind and I have no doubt the years ahead will be too.
I love seeing their bond grow and as an only child myself it is magical to watch. I have found it quite the rollercoaster and the jump from one to two quite a mountain to climb but I almost don’t want to say it but it is starting to get a littttllle easier. Max is starting to come into his own and Josh is turning into an independent if a little stubborn young boy and I have learnt some things to make it a little easier along the way.
Birthdays are always a time for reflection I find and looking back on the last 2 years I can see how a few small changes as we transitioned through parenting 2 has helped. Here are a few of the things that have helped me personally with a lot more to learn I know for sure.
Acceptance-I think this is the biggest thing when you suddenly realise any semblance of your old life or whatever life you had left with one child is most certainly changed and will not be reverting back with that glimmer of hope you had with your first child. However this is not all doom and gloom, it is just a different way of navigating and finding alternative ways.
Letting Go-As the saying goes-Don’t sweat the small stuff. As life gets busier what has helped me a great deal is just letting go a little and realising that sometimes ‘it’s just not possible’ and being ok with that.
Lowering your standards-Again this isn’t a negative thing, for me it has been positive. Whilst I still and always will have a base line standard on some things I have definitely learnt to let go of perfection and have realised sometimes by doing that it is just perfect.
Saying No/Making Less Plans-I have definitely said no to things more in the last 2 years than before for a number of different reasons but I have learnt that planning too much into a week or even a day usually does not always end well.
Stop Chasing the Sleep-I got this nugget of advice from my return to work coach over a year ago now. At the time I had one almost 4 year old that was still regularly waking and an almost one year old still waking for feeds during the night. Now one year on I am not getting significantly more sleep, my now almost 5 year old takes ages to finally drop off these day which drives me insane and my almost 2 year old still wakes for a bottle ( I know, I know)-my husband has mastered this turnaround in record time but I am accepting that this blurry tired haze that sometimes hits you like a train is just part and parcel. I’ve stopped chasing and just embrace the extra hour or two when I can whether that be an early night or the odd extra hour at the weekend.
Keeping things Simple-This has been adopted more and more in recent months in our house and its working well. Of course we still like to go on exciting adventures and I hope for the day that my sons will eat a rainbow worth of food but sometimes a trip to the local park and fish fingers with a waffle is just fine.
Don’t Beat Yourself Up-It’s impossible to be the perfect parent and each person makes different choices for different reasons. Sometimes the boys have too much screen time as I get the dinner done or put on a wash, sometimes I shout when I shouldn’t have but we are human and we can only do our best with what we have got. Once a child is fed, loved & happy that is all they really need and some of the mistakes you make along the way is most likely not going to have a big impact on those basic needs.
Enjoying it-Last but by no means least, enjoy and embrace the madness. 2 boys is busy but it is wonderful too. You can be so caught up in the madness of it all and then you catch them together playing or having a cuddle on the couch or even sometimes having rough and tumble and your heart almost bursts with love and you know that for every year that passes it’s just going to get better and better.