My 1st payday in 4 years arrived this week-was it worth it, I’m not sure, I’m still on the fence.

Let’s start with the pros…
•I’m really enjoying work, being out, interacting, using my brain and now having my own money.
•Financially it is definitely going to ease things and give more opportunities to our family.
•Josh really enjoys crèche and is happy going in each morning.
•The rejection has stopped, for now.
•Josh is eating well in crèche.
•My mum has been a great help despite on her first day of minding Josh was also sick.
•We have done a few nice family outings this month in between the madness

This month I’m afraid there are more cons…
•Josh has been sick twice in 2 weeks-tonsillitis and conjunctivitis.
•Josh hasn’t slept a full night in 3 weeks and as a result mama and dada are feeling the pain and he has had a minor personality transplant-terrible twos have kicked in at 15 months.
•I got the vommiting bug
•We got a puncture on the way to bringing Josh to the doctor.
•Ian got conjunctivitis
•We failed the NCT
•Josh still not napping in crèche which means we get a overtired boy every evening we collect him.
•Ian and I are like passing ships in the night, snapping at eachother like overtired crocodiles at the smallest thing.

I question have we done the right thing but I know something had to change and the choices we’ve made long term I think are the right ones-My work choice (going back to familiar faces) and the crèche (they seem to be v good). I also know I am enjoying getting some independence back and that’s not something I want to let go of now but when Josh and our family are suffering as a consequence then that makes me feel selfish. I also know my husband was wise leading us down this path because financially while we could ‘get by’ that doesn’t bode well for the future and that’s not the life we want for Josh.

There is no denying it’s been a tough month but I am hopeful for the future, for February, we are calling it the start of our year because whilst I know we face other challenges ahead it was the speed at which they came in those first 3 weeks that floored us a little. So time to press the restart button and enjoy the new phase of our life, a little more prepared perhaps for any bumps in the road!