A week of firsts…. 💙💙

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I got that Friday feeling big time this week… It’s been a week of lots of firsts and I’m both exhausted and elated. 

Just over a week ago Max’s 2 bottom teeth popped through, finally!!! We had a few weeks before that of horrendous sleep so the two new spikey additions were welcomed.

Next up was crawling, also would have played its part is the dreadful sleep… My husband had always thought he would start before crèche and I really hoped he would. Sure as can be after weeks of his own little manuvoures he got up on his knees but his little hand forward and he was flying it-delighted with himself! It was a lovely moment and cheered up a dreary Tuesday morning.

The very next day was the start of settle in week in creche. I felt all the emotions, it didn’t matter that this was my second time round I was equally upset. I put on his little outfit, took the obligatory pic and off we went. It didn’t go so well, the minute I stepped out of the room he completely lost it. More than anything is surprised me cause he’s such a sociable little chap but he is also a mamas boy and pretty clued in so I reckon he picked up on the vibes and was testing the water. The next day went a whole lot better and that was such a relief. Today was a mixed bag but with a cold picked up from his dada and a few other reasons I can pin point I am hoping on his return next week we might have a smoother run… 

In the midst of all this I can see my older boy getting so independent and grown up so I am a bag of emotions at the moment but I also want to burst with pride. I need cake, coffee and wine to assist with all these changes and I’ve been allowing myself plenty these last few days. Now work looms and I think I’m ‘kinda’ ready! 😬

Working Dads

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It’s Fathers Day on Sunday but this is a post I have wanted to write for quite a while. There is always so much in the media about working mothers and the constant juggle that ensues and this is very true in a lot of cases.  However I don’t think it’s exclusive to mothers and I also think that from experience and talking to others that fathers don’t get as much understanding when it comes to flexibility that is sometimes required.

It will also be welcomed to see the introduction of paternity leave from September, now extended to self employed dads too.  Most companies only offer 2-3 days which barely covers the process of labour and returning home from hospital. Totally unrealistic and unfair to fathers and mothers come to think of it. 


Anyway back to working dads. By its nature parenthood requires some flexibility from employers, kids get sick, crèches close at a certain time and above all else you have chosen to have a child so getting to spend some time with them is also a priority. 

In the environments I have worked in it is true that a lot of the ‘flexibity’ falls to the mothers. She is usually the one to take the sick day, the one to rush out of work and collect the kids and request time off for appointments but this is not always the case. 

I find that mothers by their nature tend to take on more of the parental duties but in our house and many others we pretty much share the load. We decided on Josh’s creche location based on where my husband works as this was the constant and he does the drops and up until recently a lot of the collections too. I worked in town and we only had one car so this was the only workable solution. It meant he had to leave work on time every evening, something that was noted and went against him at an end of year review-rightly or wrongly. I don’t believe this would have even been an issue or raised if it was a mother leaving to pick up her kids. I have worked in offices where dads come in a little later after doing the creche/school drop offs and it has been remarked upon even though they have made up the time at the other end of the day. This infuriates me for lots of reasons but it’s almost like society assumes that dads don’t want an active role in parenthood and this really is not the case. It also assumes that mothers are going to take a back seat or perhaps compromise their career path to be able to facilitate the juggle of parenthood. 

 

To summarise and calm down my mini rant I suppose what I’m trying to say is why should anyone, mother or father have to sacrifice career choices because they have children or any lifestyle choices in fact once it does not affect their work. Also never should it be scoffed upon when someone leaves the office at the end of the working day to collect thier kids or carry out personal commitments but unfortunately this is often the case. It is up to employers to change the culture, adapt to modern ways and embrace flexible working for all. 

Change of Room

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We got the dreaded letter a few weeks back that is was time for Josh to move rooms. The room he was in he was really settled in this room, loved his teachers and was finding a good routine. Eek.

I’m not going to lie I dreaded it and as the day approached as the hour/half day/ full transition approached it was definitely playing on my mind. 

We went up to meet his new teachers the Friday before the ‘big change’ and they were lovely. We brought flowers for his old teachers and chocolates for the rest. It was time to move on. One of his old teachers was genuinely sad to see him go and that was actually lovely to see-real affection for your child. She is also moving class and they will meet again soon so that’s worked out well.

I under estimate my child, he is probably more resilient than me and crèche has definitely helped with that. He is the kid who visits the kitchen, the office and the baby room so another room change is nothing to him. For me it’s about him getting bigger & independent 😩. He now sleeps on mats, there are bigger boys than him and his sponge like quality for learning is incredible. We are so thankful for the crèche we chose and how invested they are in our little boy, it’s really great to see. He completed his first full week and all went well! Fingers crossed on our return from hols the transition is as smooth.. 

 

The ying and yang of life

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You read a lot not to be a smug parent and I think this is a good motto to live by however I think you should be able to say out loud that things are going better than ok, great even. They were, they were going great there for a while… I had written in previous posts how things were settling down and then we also started to see the financial rewards of going back to work which was also nice.

The biggest thing was that Josh had really started enjoying crèche and that felt like the biggest blessing of all. Then one particular day recently they put up lots of social media images of the new areas in their extensive garden-an outdoor kitchen, bunny rabbits and some of their new outdoor toys too. I felt happy, re affirmed by our decision,  then I arrived at crèche. Like most days they were outside playing and as normal I expected Josh to be in the bubble car. When I eventually spotted him, Ian was behind me too and he was trapped beneath the car flaying his little legs and arms. It took me a few moments to get to the gate, observing two relief minders close by him not noticing a thing. I got through the gate and approached the car,  Josh still stuck beneath and only then did the girls stop their conversation. They pushed the car over him rather than picking it up and when he wasn’t crying (because he’s not a hysterical child) she said defensively-‘ah sure he’s grand’. His normal lovely minder approached then and Ian commented on the incident-I had to walk away. I can’t put on my finger on exactly what felt so wrong with the whole thing but I was terribly upset. Ian joined me shortly after and I thought he would say I was being daft but agreed that it was not right. I get it-kids fall, I get you can’t keep an eye every second but it was the uncaring attitude that upset me most for my precious boy that I pay them to mind!

We decided to notify the manager and she was understanding and explained whilst it wasn’t an excuse there were relief workers in place during the summer holiday period. I do love his main minder but the reality is in a crèche environment you get shared caring or not in this instance… We took the Luas one for a few stops that day in the hope to ‘cheer him up’ but he was oblivious albeit delighted for the unexpected journey.. 

It shook me, again the doubts/guilt crept in but as he bounced through the door the next day it certainly seemed to effect the adult folk in Josh’s life more than it did him!

Pay Day-yay!

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My 1st payday in 4 years arrived this week-was it worth it, I’m not sure, I’m still on the fence.

Let’s start with the pros…
•I’m really enjoying work, being out, interacting, using my brain and now having my own money.
•Financially it is definitely going to ease things and give more opportunities to our family.
•Josh really enjoys crèche and is happy going in each morning.
•The rejection has stopped, for now.
•Josh is eating well in crèche.
•My mum has been a great help despite on her first day of minding Josh was also sick.
•We have done a few nice family outings this month in between the madness

This month I’m afraid there are more cons…
•Josh has been sick twice in 2 weeks-tonsillitis and conjunctivitis.
•Josh hasn’t slept a full night in 3 weeks and as a result mama and dada are feeling the pain and he has had a minor personality transplant-terrible twos have kicked in at 15 months.
•I got the vommiting bug
•We got a puncture on the way to bringing Josh to the doctor.
•Ian got conjunctivitis
•We failed the NCT
•Josh still not napping in crèche which means we get a overtired boy every evening we collect him.
•Ian and I are like passing ships in the night, snapping at eachother like overtired crocodiles at the smallest thing.

I question have we done the right thing but I know something had to change and the choices we’ve made long term I think are the right ones-My work choice (going back to familiar faces) and the crèche (they seem to be v good). I also know I am enjoying getting some independence back and that’s not something I want to let go of now but when Josh and our family are suffering as a consequence then that makes me feel selfish. I also know my husband was wise leading us down this path because financially while we could ‘get by’ that doesn’t bode well for the future and that’s not the life we want for Josh.

There is no denying it’s been a tough month but I am hopeful for the future, for February, we are calling it the start of our year because whilst I know we face other challenges ahead it was the speed at which they came in those first 3 weeks that floored us a little. So time to press the restart button and enjoy the new phase of our life, a little more prepared perhaps for any bumps in the road!

1st week as a working mama 💼

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Well I’ve lived to tell the tail… {just about} 😉 Last Tuesday reality bit hard and after 15 months, 14 with the little man I returned to work, working for someone else which I hadn’t done in 4 years!

Josh had taken to his settle in time in crèche very well but on Saturday he really wasn’t himself and Sunday we ended up at LucDoc. He started on his first antibiotic and was a very poorly baba that day. Little sleep, fevers, aches and pains continued but luckily the day I started work he was with my mum as he will be on a Tuesday.

Then Wednesday it was his first full day in crèche, they were brilliant at keeping in touch but it was a very different story from the week before, with his illness he was very out of sorts and when I arrived a little early to collect him he was completely bunched.

The next day after a little more sleep, he seemed a little better. My mum collected him a bit early that day after him being so unwell the day before but what was to come was far worse than the sleepless nights-complete rejection of mama. He was generally a lot crankier than normal but it was more than that and shocked both myself and my husband. I was devastated. Maybe it’s part and parcel but so much within only the first week seemed quite unfair. It had been a hard enough decision to return to the workforce and it now seemed that all my fears had come true. It was time for an early night and a big slice of cake-the diet went out the window!

Then Friday came.. The weekend was in site. He was a little brighter but still not the Josh of old. The crèche believed he’d made progress that they will build on next week so fingers crossed.

The weekend faired a little better, still broken sleep, still slight rejection and still a lingering bit of sickness {lots of wine and sleep for mama} but hopefully next week will be brighter and we will all get into our groove because of all things I’m not sure mama can take much more of the josh rejection 😩-it’s the worst feeling in the world and I almost feel my confidence in my abilities draining away as a mother, pandering to him just so he comes to me which is something I would never normally do!

We are blessed with the crèche we chose, we have a few things to tweak with them but all and all they are super. I am lucky with an understanding & familiar workplace. I am lucky with a wonderful & supportive husband, a great granny and a mostly healthy & happy son so once these all align we will look back on these days as challenging but a learning curve too.

As they say this to will pass and once a friend told me time moves forward and let’s hope this particular adjustment moves forward pronto!

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