I am a mum…

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A few weeks ago I was addicted to Masterchef, I’m a foodie so it’s one of my favourite shows. This year was a great year and at the final stood Billy, Jack and Jane. 

One of the final tasks was to cook for some of the top Michelin starred chefs in the UK. At the end of the task each were asked what they did when they weren’t cooking. It was Jane’s answer that struck a cord with me. 

‘I am a mum’ she said with pride…not I am ‘just’ a mum. She was a mum to four with no further explanation. 

We live is a society that so many feel that being a mum is not quite enough, you often hear ‘I am just a mum’ or ‘I am a mum but I am on the parent committee, do charity work… etc etc’ Some feel they need justification for choosing to stay at home with thier children. Being a mum is one of the toughest jobs out there, rewarding and lovely but hard at times too so in my opinion no justification is needed.

Some also choose not to be a full time mum for personal or financial reasons and that is ok too, again you can hear this come with a myriad of excuses they feel they need to give. Lots of mothers decide to choose to go back to work to pay the mortgage, to secure their families future, for financial independence or sometimes for sanity and all these reasons are perfectly valid. Or sometimes you can love your job and worked hard to get there so want to continue to succeed in your chosen career. 

I stayed at home with Josh for 14 months, we are probably still financially paying the price but I am glad I did. I then went back to work 4 days a week but decided quite early on that this was not the set up that worked for our family. I now work a job share and this for me is the perfect balance. I adore Josh and love my days with him as I’m sure I will with the next one too but I admittedly would not want to be at home with them full time. It gives the whole family balance, structure and of course extra income. Josh has thrived in Creche and we have been exceptionally lucky with our choice and he is only in 3 days which again works well for us.

But that is just it, these are our choices and these may not work for others and we are sacrificing some things that others can not or choose not to. You will always feel guilty once you become a mother/parent so the best thing you can do is make the right decision for your family at that given time, review it perhaps as you move through life stages but most importantly be ok with your choice and once you are never feel it needs justification. Being a mum is the most special job in the world and that title alone is something to be immensely proud of. 

Bring Back Balance 

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The last couple of weeks have thrown our household a little off balance. It started with me having some kind of virus at the very start of the month which I am not really sure I completely shifted along with stepping in and up in work to cover annual leave along with busy weekends etc. 

I work best with balance and order, granted with a toddler that doesn’t always occur but the last few weeks have seen it spiral. Throw on top of that a broken fridge freezer with the loss of a lot of food and it became a little manic. I enjoy my job now and have liked getting involved with other elements, I adore by boys and family along with friends but somehow the usual orderly fashion that things tick along has not occurred and that unnerves me and frankly doesn’t bring out the best in me. 

Gone is the daily juicing, the evening exercise classes, the quality time with Josh and Ian on return from work. These last few weeks, clothes have plied up, eating has gone to the dogs and legs have gone unshaved on occasion! I found myself inpatient with Josh which is a real rarity {he gets away with murder}, feeling sluggish/crap about myself due to bad eating and lack of exercise and not able to sleep well due to my mind in overload!

I understand situations occur in life when thing go a little askew but balance (or at least some semblance of it) is what works best for me and our family. So as I leave work this Friday evening I will grab balance back, enjoy the freedom and recuperation of the weekend and next week order will be the aim of the game with some plan making ahead of September.

As the saying goes TGIF!!!! Happy weekend.. 
  
 

Single parentdom-kinda.. 

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This week my husband has been away with work for the week so I am flying solo. I’m not going to lie I was pretty nervous about it for lots of reasons. Firstly it’s the longest myself and Ian have been away from each other since the very start of our relationship, almost 9 years ago and also Josh’s sleeping has been pretty erratic so I was dreading the regular mid night waking and having no one to shove to help! Saying that Ian is pretty super when it comes to wading in with help during the night and early rising mornings, he takes the lions share so I was overdue to get a run of it! 

The first half of the week started well, we got lost heading to Kilquade but it didn’t bother us, we got wet in the rain, again no bother. I got woken during the night as predicted and all that was fine. As the week progressed  I managed to keep the house in order, myself in order (just about) and even got washes on and put out which is the chore I hate the most. The crèche drops didn’t go quite as well but I carried them out fairly unscathed. I even managed to get some good work done in the office, despite being in shorter days to help with the drops and collections.

 
The week gave me a confidence in my mothering/parenting skills I think I’d lost a little since returning to work. I am able, capable and pretty ok at keeping the show on the road. Maybe I need to tell myself that a little more from now on. It did make me realise however that Josh most certainly plays us off each other at times and dada is probably a little too easy on Josh at times too and needs to play hard ball, epsecially when it comes to the sleep. We need to stop pandering to him like a puppet show as we sometimes do. We need to enforce the rules solo and stick to them. {well we will see how it goes anyway 😉}

However I am not naive, this is only a week, not even and Ian will arrive home with shiny bags of goodies for us all this Friday. The reality is, like my own mum did, there are plenty out there that are doing this day in day out on their own and it ain’t easy. The end of the day when all is done and dusted is lonely when you don’t have someone to unwind with and when exhaustion kicks in to not have someone there to pick up the slack is hard going to say the least. 

I’m not going to deny I can be a princess at times so I am sure I will milk it for a few days on hubby’s return but what it made me realise  despite my new found capabilities none of it has much meaning without Ian by side. We can’t wait to have Ian aka Dada back and our little family together again.